Ten psychological problems faced by the 80s
Psychological problem one: Love is frustrated-break up but do n’t understand love. In the letter of help, 60% are about love emotions, and “frustrated love” is the most common problem.
In the post-80s age, by 2008, the oldest is 28 and the youngest is 18.
According to the psychologist Erikson’s eight-stage theory of life, the main contradiction that needs to be resolved is the contradiction between “intimacy” and “solitude” at the age of 18-30, at the age of “practicing love”.
In other words, at this age, we must encounter love, overcome its trials and tempers, poke out of one’s small world, and learn to stick ourselves and others with love-frustrated for loveAnd making mistakes are issues that this age is bound to face.
“The person I love doesn’t love me”, “Why does love disappear so quickly”, “Does love just hurt each other”, “Love is really a fragile thing”, “I do n’t believe in love after falling out of love” . these are frustratedThe sadness it brings, although heartbreaking, also makes us adults.
We all became adults after we learned to lose.
When we say “break up”, we will no longer be afraid of falling in love, and our love will be developed.
Weathervane: After 80s, they used to talk about breaking up. Anyway, if they don’t love, just break up.
However, many people do not understand that falling in love also needs to be learned. Dealing with grief, summing up experience, people who are not in love with frustration, do not know how to love.
Since everyone is going to make this problem, please be bold.
Psychological problem two: No love-I don’t love others at all and I’m not sad, but I don’t feel emotional at all.
After 80s, because of being alone, they have produced a wealth of “no love syndrome”. At the age of marriage, they are still unemotional towards others.
If you do n’t understand love, you ca n’t love it.
“Blindness”, “Shanglian”, “waiting for love” . are all manifestations of lovelessness.
No love is often caused by being soaked in love. It has never been lost and naturally does not know how to progress.
Most of the post-80s generations, as the only children, never have to share the love of their parents with siblings. Many needs are met before they are created, so they will not change places to think about the needs of others, so they willWill love.
Weathervane: Love is often better than narcissism, at least it can teach us how to fall in love.
Learning how to meet the needs of others and discovering these needs is the first step in treating “no love”.
Psychological problem three: social fear-the sin of introversion, or the evil of extroversion?
Some people in the post-80s generation have already stepped into the society, sheltered their families, and the sense of superiority of “I am the boss” is gone.
Many people find the problem of interpersonal communication: “How can I make my colleagues like me?
“,” I inadvertently upset my boss “,” I have no sense of belonging in the company “. Introverts feel uncomfortable and do not talk to others; Extroverts feel that their publicity makes people worry about jealousy, and some peopleHidden secretly-I can’t guess the hearts of others, it seems it’s all my fault.
Weathervane: Social issues are not a problem that began to be encountered after the 80s, and our ancestors have encountered them.
Inward orientation does not prevent you from eating all over the world. The key is how to position yourself in the workplace. Social networking is a purposeful workplace activity. Find your own position. Say what you want to say.Doing yourself is the right path.
Psychological problem four: Confusion in career selection-I don’t know what the post-80s job-hopping problem is, which has always caused headaches for elders.
It seems that we can easily say, “I’m not going to do it .” . There is no patience, and the willpower is not determined. It seems to be our problem.
But what causes confusion in choosing a career is not a matter of inevitable force, or do we not know what we want?
The world in the post-80s generation, as long as you look at the events that occurred in 2008, you know-fast, changeable, information-intensive, and stressful . The more major events, the more we feel that we are small, and even small people may be useless if needed.
What’s more, the post-80s generation didn’t worry about eating and drinking. They didn’t like watching news broadcasts. They only liked cats to play with themselves-basic needs were met, so most of them didn’t know what they wanted?
For the post-80s generation, it seems clearer what they don’t want: “I can’t stand the nine to five”, “the boss can’t see my difference”, “I’m aggrieved and can’t stretch my fists”, “I changedI have 9 jobs and want to resign again . Life, career development are “needs” in “don’t want”, there is no active planning, take a step by step, of course, there is no patience and perseverance.
Weathervane: Finding what you want most is very difficult.
Start by getting to know yourself.
First understand yourself in the past, then ask yourself in the future. Career planning starts with life planning.
We need to think about ourselves who is still alive in 2080. What does he want to have?
Psychological Problem Five: Sexual Doubt-I am very open and very traditional about the post-80s sexual problems, and I can already talk about them.
But in your own life, you cannot do it as easily as you say.
Xindao mainly accepts such help: he or her boyfriend has a virgin complex, has a weird sexual fantasy, hesitates about premarital sex, unmarried pregnancies and injuries . From everyone ‘s problem, you can trim a rule: if you are sexualAre extremely open-minded or traditional, and are less likely to suffer from mental illness.
But if stuck in the contradiction of “open” or “traditional”, it is easy to cause psychological problems.The education we received from an early age is half-open and half-close, but because we are self-proclaimed new humans, we always feel that we should be bold enough to make our parents dazzle. In addition, the youth ‘s normal curiosity about sex is often impulsive.Do a good job, and when you finish, you will have a psychological conflict.
Weathervane: Are you open or traditional, giving yourself the only standard.
If it is a tradition, stick to your “virgin” and “virgin”; if it is open and deep in love, naturally.
Don’t put yourself in the middle, you want to drag on both ends.
Contradiction is harmful and unhelpful in the matter of sex.
Everyone, let’s be simple.
Psychological problem 6: Depression-no fun, really boring habitual numbness, aesthetic fatigue, excessive freshness . These words can be used to form capacity. After 80, we are stimulated to grow up, so we are used to changing and we are also used to adapting to change.
If depression is a modern disease, how did you run after being born in modern 80s?
Love, school, job search, interpersonal . can be depressed, start to feel fresh, and then gradually feel boring, boring is the beginning of depression, unhappy can also destroy a person.
Weathervane: Depression is for everyone. The key is to give yourself a space for depression, to prevent depression like a thief, but to let it go.
Post-80s are inseparable from depression. It allows us to live more self-consciously in modern society. Just remember that your depression often refers to depression, and don’t always give yourself a hat for depression.
Psychological problem 7: Fear of marriage-unmarried becomes married, at least half of them who dare not accept 80 will not dare to marry.
The first is because the marriage conditions are getting higher now. Buying a house, car, financial management, mental health . But the meaning of marriage has become smaller-just a piece of paper.
So the 80s would rather live together than end the love run.
Psychologically, marriage makes the 80s feel like they are getting old, and suddenly they become a rigid adult.
More importantly, the family of three, mainly from the 80s and their parents, is quite stable, psychologically unwilling to leave their original family, leave their parents’ home, and create their own home, which is difficult to get used to.
So the worry of marriage often starts with this sense of separation.
Weathervane: At the moment of putting on the ring, I believe it is not the other person, but myself.
The most fundamental reason for fear of marriage is that you are afraid that you cannot bear the responsibility of marriage.
Therefore, the most fundamental way to deal with terrorist marriage is to get yourself started.
Ask yourself, are you ready to create and take responsibility for your own home?
Psychological problem eight: homosexual, bisexual-am I a heterogeneous in love?
Neutral beauty is becoming mainstream.
And the post-80s also became more and more exposed to the word “gay”.
Some people are inspired by this word to be of the same sex.
“Bisexual”, “homosexual .” In the letter received by Xindao, “doubt is not true” is far more than “I am a comrade, what should I do?” Therefore, most of the post-80s generations have sex, Confused by the “trend”.
Same-sex love is common to all people. It is not homosexuality that is more homosexual; true homosexuality must be physically aroused. Psychological affection and dependence are normal same-sex emotions.
For psychological counseling, the problem of true same-sex and bisexual social adaptation is a difficult psychological problem.
Weathervane: An important indicator of homosexuality and bisexuality is whether there is a “physical arousal” of the same sex. First of all, you need to better your physical needs and then look at your psychological state.
Psychological problem 9: Don’t want to grow up-let me rely on childhood. I don’t want to grow up. There is a word in psychology called “children’s self-government”, which means that there is a child’s soul under the shell of an adult.The things planned are like the behavior of a 3-year-old child.
Children born early in the 80’s have a low probability, so most people are used to being children, and occasionally a little childish is cute, but if everything is left to the 3-year-old to handle, it will cause adaptation problems.
For example: if you have emotions, you will cry, if you do n’t get it, you will always rely on yourself, for self-centeredness . For an adult, giving up the right to create a person is equivalent to giving up psychological growth and the level of psychological development, and will stay at 3.
Weathervane: Put an “adult self” out for one minute every day, and your mind will have a chance to grow up.
Psychological problem ten: stress trauma-death does not seem to be far away from the 2008 earthquake, which has injured many people.
The 80s have always been the most associative group, and many friends immediately joined the “fear of shock and death” team.
The post-80s generation was always described as a representative of psychological fragility.
In fact, he was born in a peaceful world, and he has never experienced natural disasters and man-made disasters. It is indeed a misfortune.
Being born in a greenhouse is bound to be fragile. Basically, we have never seen the dead. It is normal to see so many people at once, not to adapt, or to worry about the worth.
We just don’t get used to facing trauma, we don’t get used to facing death so close.
Weathervane: Fear is also a force that can help people learn a new ability.Facing death can help us examine what we have already gotten. If you can focus on doing a complicated thing, death will be far away immediately.
Conclusion: Inventory of post-80s psychological problems, we can see the commonality, you are facing, everyone is facing . These problems, in fact, are not great, if you can relax and accept them, evenXitian Qujing-style spiritual journey, you still walk smartly.